Butcher Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

Why was the Butcher depressed?

Because his life was in shambles.

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty

What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

Got Ham?

What is it that you do?

He: "I'm a butcher."

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the butcher die?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Who's there! Butcher! Butcher who?

Butcher your arms around me!

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

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Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

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Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween?

He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote?

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart."**

Hotdog Jokes More Hotdog Jokes

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the dog sit in the shade?

It didn't want to be a hotdog. *ba dum tsss *ba dum tish idk

Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

What is Batman's Japanese emergency number?

7777-Batman

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus like M&ampM's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Why isn't my hand 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.