Butcher Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

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Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

Why was the Butcher depressed?

Because his life was in shambles.

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the butcher die?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

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Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

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When someone fed a genie alfredo

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What does Batman ask when he enters a butcher shop?

Gotham?

When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

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What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

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How is your job and your wife different?

I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

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When is the best time to go shopping?

When the stores are open.

Who's there! Argo! Argo who?

Argo down the shops! Kn

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Where the hell did you get?

The barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call a girl who friend zones you?

M'lady

What did Einstein text to his friend who he'd see tomorrow?

E=MC U L8R

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the matter son?

The boy next door said I look just like you What did you say Nothing he's bigger than me!

What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny?

Hey, this looks new!