Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?

Malteasers

What do you call a chocolate Easter Bunny that was out in the sun too long?

A runny bunny.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt chocolate.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do a big bar of chocolate and a frag grenade have in common?

Everybody gets a piece.

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What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?

Tom Cruise

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They like it on the dark side.

Why don't I like trees?

They look kinda shady to me

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What time is it when planes start dropping engines?

Shedding season

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What is the witches motto?

We came we saw we conjured!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Physics Jokes More Physics Jokes

What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

Why did the hipster dislike physics?

Cause the system is broke, yo.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

Because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)