Detroit Jokes

How did the sun die?

It went to Detroit.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

Whats the worst part about a black out in Detroit?

All the pairs of floating eyes

What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland?

5 years.

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Detroit."

What is the most confusing holiday in Detroit?

Labor Day.

Why are there so many black people in Detroit?

It's because they heard there was no jobs there.

Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

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Why are farmers so wealthy?

Because their stalks are always growing.

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

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What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's?

Shaking hands.

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What has 6 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The Boston Marathon finish line.

What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera?

A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.

Parrot Jokes More Parrot Jokes

Why is politics for the birds?

Because politicians always parrot the same old lines!

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?

Polly wants a firecracker!

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

Cub Fan Jokes More Cub Fan Jokes

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?

A polo bear!