Isis Jokes

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

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What do you call an extremist group of water at 0 Degrees Celsius?

ISIS

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS

Why are ISIS fighters afraid to join the TEA Party?

They're afraid they'll be audited by the IRS.

What did Muhammad Ali tell ISIS?

IsIs Pretty soon y'all gonna be WasWas!

What kind of wine does ISIS drink?

White Infidel.

What's the most important part of an ISIS joke?

The execution.

Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel?

Same reason children don't attack their parents...

What is ISIS's favorite kind of coffee?

Decapitated

What is ISIS?

They are Radical!!! Please don't hurt me....

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What do ISIS and anime fans have in common?

They both get hot and bothered over cartoons.

What did ISIS say after the terrorist attack?

Nice

Why doesn't ISIS Like School?

Because they always bombed their tests.

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What's a closeted Isis fighter's favourite occasion during the year?

Ram a man

Why is ISIS going after programs?

Because they are executable

How did Isis move from 5th wanted terrorist group to the most wanted terrorist group?

They cut a head

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Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes.

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What fictional city can ISIS not invade by land?

Gotham City.

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Just Cause

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What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common?

They are both 8........

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Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

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Why did Caitlyn Jenner lose custody rights of her kids?

Her kids couldn't see her anymore, she was a trans-parent.

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

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What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

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What did the cannibal order at the bakery?

Cinnamon buns.

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

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What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

What's the difference between a taliban outpost and an Afghani Elementary school?

I don't know, I just fly the drones