Lake Jokes

Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake?

The can

What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?

To stop getting wet!

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland?

The Loch Ness Elephant!

Why couldn't the lake birds get along?

Because they were SWAN enemies.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

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Nestle Jokes More Nestle Jokes

What is the most unethical thing you can legally buy?

Nestle products

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer Olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

Where do hipsters swim?

Not in the mainstream

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

What do you call a mollusk on a boat?

A snailor

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?

One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.

What's the difference between dead animals on the road and dead lawyers on the road?

Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What is Samsung's next Note series phone after Note 7?

Samsung Not Explode

Why was the note denied alcohol?

Because it was A Minor.

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..