Lake Jokes

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

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Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake?

The can

What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls?

Altha'or syzygena

How was your day?

Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?

To stop getting wet!

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland?

The Loch Ness Elephant!

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why couldn't the lake birds get along?

Because they were SWAN enemies.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia?

Thrown in a lake.

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?

Columbus

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

Halfway Jokes More Halfway Jokes

How far can a rabbit run into the woods?

Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.

How far can you run into the woods?

Halfway, any further and you're running out.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor?

The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back.

What's the difference between a secret Taliban hideout and an Afghan public school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

Ice Skating Jokes More Ice Skating Jokes

Why did the hipster drown?

Because he went ice-skating before it was cool ()

Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why must you be religious to join the Navy?

Because it's a place of war ship.

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?

Dam Jokes More Dam Jokes

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)

What did the river say when it saw the beavers?

I'll be dammed.

Glow Jokes More Glow Jokes

What do you call poultry that glows in the dark?

Chicken Kiev

How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You don't need to, they glow in the dark.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why was the blonde girl sitting on the roof?

Someone told her drinks were on the house.

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes