Living Room Jokes

What's that one room zombies can never enter?

The LIVING room

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Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

Why did the zombie move into a studio apartment?

Because he didn't need a living room anymore!

What room does a ghost not need?

A living room

What part of the house does a ghost not use?

The living room

What room is a ghost scared of?

The living room.

Why is it called a living room?

Don't we live in every room

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Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

Why do they put chicken wire around these plants?

Other guy:" To protect the chicken plants"

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints?

An im-paw-ster.

What do you use to search for anime in Google?

Weabooleans

Potential Jokes More Potential Jokes

Why did the man invest in the kilovolt battery?

He thought it had a lot of potential.

What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus?

You've got a lot of potential, son.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do a woman and a grenade have in common?

Pull off the ring and the house is gone.

What kind of house is easiest to pick up?

A light house.

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

Why do black people wear chains?

Nostalgia

Why do they attach chains to their pens?

If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie.

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*