Living Room Jokes

What's that one room zombies can never enter?

The LIVING room

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Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

Why did the zombie move into a studio apartment?

Because he didn't need a living room anymore!

What do you call a woman in the living room?

A tourist.

What room does a ghost not need?

A living room

What part of the house does a ghost not use?

The living room

What room is a ghost scared of?

The living room(haha get it)

Why is it called a living room?

Don't we live in every room

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What does your mom and your driveway have in common?

They both have a GARBAGE box.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the pirate update his Macbook?

His matey told him he needed an iPatch

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

Tourist Jokes More Tourist Jokes

What do you call hot women in France?

Tourists

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest, intelligent, and law-abiding?

A tourist.

Railroad Track Jokes More Railroad Track Jokes

What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks?

It's won't be long now!

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers.

Why are the British known for keeping a stiff upper lip?

Because it hides their teeth.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

How does Negan hit a home run?

With a Lucille Ball.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Which ghost ate too much porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

What do you call a ghost in the Outback?

An Apparigine!