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Chain Jokes

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

Your Age Is Only Math
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Your Age Is Only Math

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What do you call a thousand lawyers, chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A start.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

What do you call 10 lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

Why did Mr. T reject Marxism?

Because Marx said "You have nothing to lose but your chains."

Who's there! Bull! Bull who?

Bull the chain when your done!

What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

Why do they attach chains to their pens?

If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?

A chain saw has a dynamic range.

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow?

Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!

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What do you call 10'000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

What would a pig name a chain of food stores?

Stop "N Slop Markets"

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

What do you call a chain of singing islands?

An acapellago.

Why do black people wear chains?

Nostalgia

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Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

How do you know if a black person used your TV?

It's not there anymore.

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

What do Albanian kids want to be when they grow up?

Italian

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Why did the women cross the road?

Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen!!!

Why do women try to talk football?

Do you see me in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies No. You don't.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants?

Because they serve Poutine.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

Shaving Jokes More Shaving Jokes

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

Why do Italians wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What's something white people can call other white people but black people can't call other black people?

Dad.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is a sailor's favorite letter?

From his wife back home

Why don't men install urinals in their houses?

Their wives just wouldn't stand for it

Render Jokes More Render Jokes

What did the pirate say when he turned 81?

Nothing, as he didn't exist. The probability of anyone in that demographic reaching their eighties is particularly low, and an active pirate being eighty one years of age is further rendered a statistical impossibility given that a pirate would need to be above a certain threshold in terms of physical ability.

Why did the console peasant cross the road?

To render the other side.