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Lol Jokes

Why can't Americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What did Muslim sonic say on June 5?

Gotta go fasting!

Why are girls so hot?

Because they lay out in the sun so much

Who are the most decent people in the hospital?

The ultrasound people.!!

Where do Polar Bears keep their money?

In the Snowbank. My first post is a dad joke

What do you call Professor X doing a wheelie?

Professor + I'm sorry..

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons?

A Homerphobe! LOL! Just made that up!

How do you get high underwater?

Seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one

What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies....lol...

Which one of the smurfs is the only one to recycle?

Smurfette, as she's the only one with a blue box!

Love

Love

How do you LOL in N. Korea?

ROR! No one raugh in North Korea!

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What does it look like when someone is drowning?

Lol

Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips?

Because he's a waiter. (lol)

Who's yo daddy?

Black girl: I dunno lol Black guy: Same

Whats Updog?

NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there

Why did the fruit leave office?

Because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

What does a Men's Rights activist call a broken hand?

Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)

What even is that?

United States: Lol, we made it up.

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Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh?

Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh.

Why was the man intently watching the bowl of snickers?

He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. back to work...

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich?

Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar.

What do you call a Muslim standing between two buildings?

Ali

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why aren't there more jokes about Jim Jones?

I think it's because usually the punchline is too long

What did the police officer say to stop the depressed man from jumping off the bridge?

You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

What is Tigger's favorite day?

Leap Day, but Spring Forward is a close second.

Mission Jokes More Mission Jokes

What do mormons and tweakers have in common?

They both ride bikes and are on a mission.

What do I have to do?

F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.

Squirtle Jokes More Squirtle Jokes

Why does Pokémon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus?

You Pokémon.

Guard Jokes More Guard Jokes

What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?

A sentrypede.

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.