Lol Jokes

Why can't Americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

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What did Muslim sonic say on June 5?

Gotta go fasting!

Why are girls so hot?

Because they lay out in the sun so much

Who are the most decent people in the hospital?

The ultrasound people.!!

Where do Polar Bears keep their money?

In the Snowbank. My first post is a dad joke

What do you call Professor X doing a wheelie?

Professor + I'm sorry..

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons?

A Homerphobe! LOL! Just made that up!

How do you get high underwater?

Seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one

What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies....lol...

Which one of the smurfs is the only one to recycle?

Smurfette, as she's the only one with a blue box!

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How do you LOL in N. Korea?

ROR! No one raugh in North Korea!

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What does it look like when someone is drowning?

Lol

Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips?

Because he's a waiter. (lol)

Who's yo daddy?

Black girl: I dunno lol Black guy: Same

Whats Updog?

NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there

Why did the fruit leave office?

Because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

What does a Men's Rights activist call a broken hand?

Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)

What even is that?

United States: Lol, we made it up.

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Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

What did the zoo employee say to the big cat?

Why you always lion

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face moaning, "lie to me!"

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

They both lie about their emissions.

Pounce Jokes More Pounce Jokes

What do you call a deceptive feline?

A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion Lying I'll pounce myself out now...

What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat?

Pounce...

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many libertarians?

How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it.

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamahahahaha.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?

Leave the plunger in the pot.

How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across?

Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

June Jokes More June Jokes

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

What are a school teachers 3 favorite words?

June, July, and August.