Lose Jokes

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?

To the retail store!

What do you call someone who lost an election by 2 million votes?

Mr. President.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

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Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

What, why?

Is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

Paul Mc Cartney Jokes More Paul Mc Cartney Jokes

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be.....

What's Paul McCartney's favourite food?

Maccaroni

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

Why dad?

He asks. Because my arm is getting tired

Subordinate Jokes More Subordinate Jokes

What does Santa call his English Elves?

Subordinate clauses....

Why did my local sandwich shop lose all of its workers??

I was told they were sick of being subordinates.

Communist Jokes More Communist Jokes

What do a communist and a nihilist have in common?

It's all the same to them

Why aren't there any British Communists?

Because communists believe all proper tea is theft.

Air Conditioner Jokes More Air Conditioner Jokes

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Why don't the French need air conditioner?

They use 2-in-1 shampoo

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Retail Store Jokes More Retail Store Jokes

Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

To a retail store.

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?

To the retail store!