Religion Jokes

What do you call a man with no religion?

Godfrey

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What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion?

A Tomartyr

What religion is Santa?

He's egg-nog-stic

Why did religion cross the road?

God is the answer.

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

Which religion faces the most Resistance?

Hinduism... Om......

What religion does a drinking feline believe?

Cat-holic

What religion do Saudi Arabian cows follow?

Mooslim

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Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

What department do you not want to end up at in a corporation run by cannibals?

Human Resources.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why couldn't the candle get any sleep?

Because there's no rest for the wicked.

What is Laziness?

Logical Answer It is the Art of Taking Rest Before Getting Tired.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why didn't you obey that stop sign?

Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't believe in a higher power.

Kool Aid Jokes More Kool Aid Jokes

Who smashed a hole through the wall?

Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?

A harenet.

Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

Why was the little boy speaking gibberish?

Because he lost his marbles.

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Where are things that are very average produced?

The satis-factory.

What's the last thing each tickle-me-Elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles