Sausage Jokes

What did one sausage say to the other?

You are the wurst.

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What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese?

A Wurst-Kse Scenario

What did the critic think of German food?

Their sausages are the wurst.

Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

How does a psychiatrist like his sausages?

Freud

What happens to garlic sauce over time?

The sausages.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

What do you say to a naked pig?

I never sausage a body.

What came after the stone age and the bronze age?

Pupil: The sausage!

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

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Wurst Jokes More Wurst Jokes

What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?

The WURST!

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Eastern European Jokes More Eastern European Jokes

What do you call a big Eastern European sausage?

Kielbasa (Often Pronounced Ca-Ba-Sa.)

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver?

It's hard to keep track.

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

Forty feet of track - all straight!

Wiener Jokes More Wiener Jokes

What does the hot dog say when it crosses the finish line?

I'm the wiener!

What's a hotdog's best subject in school?

History. Because history has always been written by wieners.

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

Why did the introvert Polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his opening monologue without laughing

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake?

They're attractive!

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!