Self Jokes

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

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How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

How do you know Sia is Scottish?

Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out

How did the cavemen in the far east protect them selves?

They Rocked their doors.

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How does a ghost defend its self?

Kung Boo

What'd the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved.... I'll show my self out

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter?

In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)

Why did the priest dislike geometry?

It's sin-ful. self made joke

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What do you call it when an inmate takes a picture of their-self?

A Cellfie

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

How does a Mathematician hang them selves?

With a hypotenuse.

Whos the funniest disney princess?

RaPUNzel *sits there laughing to self*...so lonely..

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End Jokes More End Jokes

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

What starts with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What's white and fuzzy and lives high up in the trees?

A Meringue - a - tan.

Where does Eskimo-Senpai live?

In the tsundra.

Pose Jokes More Pose Jokes

What did the really ugly man do for a living?

He posed for Halloween masks!

Why did the undercover cop pose as a waiter?

So he could protect and serve.

Offspre Jokes More Offspre Jokes

What do Snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren.

What do Dave Mirra and The Offspring have in common?

No Self Esteem!

Low Self Esteem Jokes More Low Self Esteem Jokes

What's on your mind?

It's like dating someone with low self-esteem.

What do you call an ungulate with low self-esteem?

A cantelope.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud.. ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's your favorite medical joke?

I've memorized a lot of jokes from a previous "doctor joke" thread, and need some fresh material!

How many of you know this funny man pakalu papito?

Its one of his joke.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did the phone get away with its crime?

Because it had good connections!

Why can't Z generationers swim?

Their phones would get wet.