Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Knight Jokes More Knight Jokes

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Which knight of the round table had Diabetes?

Sir Lance-a-lot

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why is Putin Always early?

Because hes Russian (rush-en)

What did Russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How are Americans and poles similar?

Running into one could really ruin your day.

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

Nsa Jokes More Nsa Jokes

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

Why does the NSA hate the winter?

They got snowed in.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How does Jesus like his hotwings?

Tinder and Mild.

What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a Maple Leads fan do after his team wins the Stanley Cup?

He turns off his Xbox and goes back to bed.

What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of boats do smart people ride on?

Scholar ships!

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.

What lives in the sea and yells?

A clam shouter.