Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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What do the Chinese call their spies?

Secret Asians.

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Richard Nixon Jokes More Richard Nixon Jokes

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you.

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

What does Kevin 11 have that Peter Parker doesn't?

A living Ben and Gwen.

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

How cute does someone have to be for sparks to fly?

Electro

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie!

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why do Japanese hate bingo?

They all scramble for cover when you call B-29

What was the most reliable and helpful vehicle in the 1800s?

The "I've got this Covered" Waggon

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the suicidal man cross the road?

Because he wanted to play chicken.

Why did the Catholic Priest cross the road?

To get to the school yard.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?

Meesathelioma.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.