Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover.

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian spies live?

In a Snow Den.

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Russian Spy Jokes More Russian Spy Jokes

Where do Russian spies live?

In a Snow Den.

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

Government Jokes More Government Jokes

What do you call the 'n' in government?

CryptoN Only few will get this

What do you call a group of spoiled children?

The government

Nice Day Jokes More Nice Day Jokes

What is a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Where do Russian spies live?

In a Snow Den.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What's the best language to describe the hectic holiday shopping season?

Russian

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

Zika blyat

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

Cataract Jokes More Cataract Jokes

What did the Chinese man say when ophthalmologist told him he had a cataract?

No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*

What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?

Hurricanes with cataracts

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?

"The C" COMMENT A JOKE BELOW!

What does a fencing Redditor always do with their jokes?

Ripostes them

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold?

The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) No I am not a dad

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."