Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover.

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian spies live?

In a Snow Den.

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

He stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What's green, has a cape, and flies?

Super Pickle!

What do you call bagels that can fly?

Plane" Bagels!...

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

What's the difference between spider man and Superman?

Peter Parker can shoot webs. Clark Kent.

What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for?

Web design.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!

How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?

Dude,I already did my time.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

How do French thank who save their files?

Merci backup.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill?

Running... JK! Rolling

Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball