Teddy Bear Jokes

Why did the teddy bear leave the restaurant?

He was stuffed.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?

A teddy boar!

What do teddy bears like to have in their houses?

Fur-niture.

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed.

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

How do you hire a teddy bear?

Put him on stilts!

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Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

How do you stop a dog smelling?

Put a peg on it's nose!

What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How do you know a cat is ready to leave?

He makes a fe-line for the door.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

She doesn't because she's dead.

What do we have for dinner? Wookie steak. Is it any good?

Well its a little Chewy

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show?

Moshed potatoes.

Why did the rabbit cross the road?

Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise?

It was all-oink-lusive.

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house?

He's snowed in.

How do you get a blonde on the roof?

Say the drinks are on the house

Favourite Pasta Jokes More Favourite Pasta Jokes

What's a polar bears favourite pasta?

Penguini!

What's a teddy bears favourite pasta?

Tagliateddy!