Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

What do Thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

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Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

What did the hoodrats have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Twerkey

What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for Thanksgiving dinner?

Unlimited twerky

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why don't you want a turkey at your Thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

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What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

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How do you address a monster?

Very politely.

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

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What's the best part of split-pea soup?

The cut up peaness.

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

Miley Jokes More Miley Jokes

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

Ho, ho, ho!

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Why was the car engine so loud, but the rest of the car terrible?

Because torque is cheap

What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Happy Thanksgiving Jokes More Happy Thanksgiving Jokes

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who wants to hear an awesome knock knock joke?

Okay, you start.

Why did the vampire go to hospital?

He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.