Weapon Jokes

What weapon does a thin pirate use?

A skinnytar.

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What do somolian pirates use as weapons?

Arrrrpg's

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

What's are pirates favorite kind of weapon?

RRRRtillary.

What weapons do pengiuns have?

Pen-guinades.

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What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

Canuck-chucks.

Which weapon has the least amount of drawbacks?

A bow.

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais

What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

How does a neckbeard neurologist address a Hispanic midwife who can't quit her job?

M'doula obligada.

What kind of chemical bond is Hispanic?

An Ester Bond

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What do boats and fourier transforms have in common?

Both sinc when rect.

Who drowns?

The boat.

Ww2 Jokes More Ww2 Jokes

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

Why did Germany lose WW2?

Three Reichs and you're out

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?

Because all his genes were hand me downs.

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

How do Japanese politicians say they got their positions?

With erections.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory?

So that they could make fish and chips.

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.

Silence Jokes More Silence Jokes

What was the deaf mans favorite song?

The Sound of Silence.

What's the difference between a gun and a wife?

You can silence a gun.