Weapon Jokes

What weapon does a thin pirate use?

A skinnytar.

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What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

What's are pirates favorite kind of weapon?

RRRRtillary.

What weapons do pengiuns have?

Pen-guinades.

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

Canuck-chucks.

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Which weapon has the least amount of drawbacks?

A bow.

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Organization Jokes More Organization Jokes

What kind of organization is Atheism?

Non-prophet.

What do you call an organization that does demographic surveys of energy weapon owners?

The Pew Pew Research Center

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

Why aren't there any walmarts in Afghanistan?

Because there's a Target on every corner!

Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant?

Because they always miss their target!

Mechanical Engineer Jokes More Mechanical Engineer Jokes

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?

He liked to chop and change!

What do you love most my natural beauty or my body?

Wife: Your sense of humor.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

Why was the circuit arrested?

Because it was charged with battery!