Credit Card Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

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What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away it's credit cards!

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

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3 Inch Jokes More 3 Inch Jokes

What's the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaaah?

About 3 inches

What's the difference between oooh and ahh?

3 inches

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

What kind of guns do bees use?

BeeBee guns

200 Pound Jokes More 200 Pound Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee?

Because he started drinking it before it was cool.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary?

He ran out of patients.

What do you call Batman when he runs out of church?

Christian bale

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

How do you hide an elephant in a fridge?

You remove his slippers and open the door. You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

France Jokes More France Jokes

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore. Or Nickelback. I'm so sorry.