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Credit Card Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

What's 3 inches long and pleases all women?

A credit card.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away it's credit cards!

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

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Gas Jokes More Gas Jokes

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Dangerous Weapon Jokes More Dangerous Weapon Jokes

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Concept Jokes More Concept Jokes

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

Report Jokes More Report Jokes

Who clicks on ads?

I do To report them.

What do you call a hollow dachshund?

Holloween. (*Please don't report me)

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno, ask the Kids.

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What's the similarities between Michael Jackson and the colour changing dress?

They both started out black and blue then became white and golden

How do I start?

Personal Trainer: By putting down that Pizza slice!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking

What do women and stones have in common?

You skip the flat ones.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

How do attractive men pay for things?

They handsome money to the cashier