Credit Card Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

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What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

What's 3 inches long and pleases all women?

A credit card.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

Where's my credit card?

Son of a..

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

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How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away it's credit cards!

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What's the similarity between a match and a black person?

You have to strike them against a rough surface to get them to work.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Surname

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

200 Pound Jokes More 200 Pound Jokes

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

France Jokes More France Jokes

What's the best way to get the aristocracy out of France?

A chopper

Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways?

All that Muslim hatred can really run you down.

Anakin Jokes More Anakin Jokes

What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?

Only one cannoli.

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter

What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?

I, 4-1, know we won't win.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

How do you hide money from a hippie?

Put it under the soap.

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!