Die Jokes

What do we do when chemists die?

We barium.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Why did the pirate captain suddenly die?

He had an an*yarr*ysm.

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

You might also enjoy:

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

What do you call a Muslim Girl dating an Agnostic Guy?

For safety purposes, I don't know if I should tell you her name..

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Which wiki do dyslexic pastry chefs claim to be trying to visit before getting arrested?

Www.filopedia.org

How did they invent break dancing?

Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you get if you squash a house?

A flat.

Why do hurricanes have girl names?

First they are all wild and wet, then they take your house.

Buddy Jokes More Buddy Jokes

Who's there! Buddy! Buddy who?

Buddyfingers!

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do you buy Pikmin from?

The Oli-Mart

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

Where does an octopus go to buy shoes?

Inke

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?

Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

Comic Jokes More Comic Jokes

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. Couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

Which insect didn't play well in goal?

The fumble bee!

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper