Because he didn't Mufasa-nuff.
They're both dying at an alarming rate.
A zomBEE!
Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.
Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
Me: You mean after I die, right
It died.
People are dying to get in.
Shhhhhh.....it!!
Overdue
Because people are dying to get in!
Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!
An aneurysm.
A rotisserie chicken
They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
They both die if you chop them
Well I'll be dog-gone.
It had Barkinsons
Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)
An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.
It's days were numbered.
Man: It pleases me to listen that she died.
He came and went at the same time.
He had a *lovely finish*.
He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea.
They decompose
Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff
Otto Erocket Asphyxiation
Napoleon Blownaparte
Die Hard
"Today children we will learn our ABC's"
He simply croaked!
Coup coup coup
Purrgutory.
I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.
Artificial intelligence.
They are just furniture with the ability to die.
A pair of Re-bachs.
Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.
There was a huge turnip at the funeral.
He just didn't have the wheel to live.
You Barium
No Biggie.
He ate a Pb and J sandwich.
Purrrgatory.
He followed the shampoo instructions.
Barium
He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.
The police held an inn-quest
Dry Humour.
Cause everyone's dying to get in!
When their time is up.
Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.
Burgatory
Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.
He pasta away
Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am" Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!" Doctor: "I know, but I did"
New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died
To the Mork.
Twelve The other replied: "Nein, Eleven."
Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.
Did your manners die too Use your words!
Robin, is that you
Meet me - oh, right..
Because people were dying to get in!
This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin
Chickens
Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning
Because they don't want the siren to die.
Just one, but it lasts five episodes. And Kuririn dies.
I'M BREADY TO DIE
They all died Jung.
Decompose.
S'cuse me, while I kiss the sky...*
Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.
You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium
They respawn.
He died in his teepee
She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.
PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.
John is a bird.
A day old reddit post.
Angelfish!
Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Because women are at the wheel.
Shannon died in a car accident.
Zom-bees
His lily died
Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.
The black one always dies first.
Because she was too basic
Me: "Franz Ferdinand." 7yo: "But, he died in 1914." Me:
She got ahead of herself.
Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic..
Through the Windu
Because they want to.
Because people are dying to get in.
Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..
My guess would be sometime this morning.
I'll post the punchline later.
Removed
Cuz he's Biden his time.
The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.
Forensics
She had no sense of porpoise.
I don't know, I've never tri
It is put in imPRISMment!
Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.
Because old Hobbits die hard...
Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being
Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'
Her natalie
Bridget the end of the world!
Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)
