Grenade Jokes

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth

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What do a woman and a grenade have in common?

Pull off the ring and the house is gone.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

What should you do when you see a blond with a pin in her mouth?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

How do you know when a grenade is thrown by a blonde?

When you can pull the pin and throw it back

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice?

He won't stop banging at the door.

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell is albatrout?

That's not real. 10yo: Now you're in doubt! Me: But... 10yo: ALBATROUT

Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

What do you say when a robot explodes into pieces?

Rest in pieces.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What does the lord say when the intern messes up?

God demi

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?

Because they mess up the whole house!

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.

What did the Mexican... What did the Mexican man order at the country musician themed restaurant?

A Reba!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.