Joke Jokes

Why aren't there more jokes about Jim Jones?

I think it's because usually the punchline is too long

How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.

Why didn't Silento knock before coming inside?

Because you already know who it's isss! My little sister told me this joke.

What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

.........

What do you call a room with no walls?

A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

Why didn't the armless man get the joke?

He just couldn't grasp it.

How does someone with amnesia tell a joke?

I don't remember.

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

How many of you know this funny man pakalu papito?

Its one of his joke.

April Sale

Why did Tony cross the road?

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

How do you crack a joke on r/Jokes?

Ctrl+v.

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Why Is Chemistry Racist?

It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone.

Why are some jokes so funny?

Doctor, Doctor why are some jokes so painfully funny -It must be the punchline

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

How many people does it take to tell a joke on reddit?

Two. One to post the joke and one to post a better punchline in the comments.

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

What to hear a joke about dementia?

Pickles

April Sale

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)

How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes?

If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes.

Who joke what do Dr. Who's enemies do when they get dirty?

Dalek themselves clean

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

Why is this joke bad for the environment?

Because it wasn't recycled.

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?

The corniest ones.

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

April Sale

How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

What don't homeless people get?

Knock knock jokes

How do you call a joke that is not funny?

Lame.

What's the best part of running a marathon?

Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)

What are jokes about janitors called?

Sweeping generalizations.

Where did the joke wait to get a drink?

The punch line...

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being amoosed!

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Why can't you email jokes to a jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden

What do you call Captain Forte and his sidekick Piano?

A dynamic duo! This joke came to me in my delirious state after hours of band camp practices.

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because in America, freedom rings.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?

Once when you tell it once when you tell her the punchline and once when she gets it.

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

Why did yo girl cross the road?

Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he saw some chicks.

Why isn't /u/JokeExplainBot here anymore?

There aren't jokes here. There are reposts here.

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

When does a joke stop being funny?

When you repost it.

What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?

"The C" COMMENT A JOKE BELOW!

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

What do you call a joke that only works written down instead of told orally?

A sic joke

How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before?

Oh, they'll tell you.

Why don't they tell jokes in base 8?

Because seven ten eleven!

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

Sometimes i get the joke.

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

What happened when Helium told a joke?

There was no reaction

Why should I submit a joke today?

Because today's April full!

What do you call jokes that belong to everyone?

R/Jokes

What would she do for $20?

Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something A dirty joke I'm trying to find it but I can't....

Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings.

What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey?

Darth Mule! A joke, from third grade me... Happy Star Wars day!

What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

Knock! Knock! Who's there! Beets! Beets who?

Beets me but I just forgot the joke!

What is a joke that works on many levels?

HR Department.

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny?

An anti-joke.

How do you get a post that's not a joke into /r/jokes?

Like this.

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

He happily says, "Since 2009!"

Why aren't jokes in base eight funny?

Because 7, 10, 11!

Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye?

He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds?

Unsubscribe from r/jokes!

What's the joke where the punchline is 'thats the punch-line'?

This is no joke.

What is a joke that so stupid that is actually funny?

There was a thread months ago but i lost it...

What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?

Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.

What did the car baby say to his car dad?

Hey dad, let's tell a joke for car ma!

Why are pirates so bad at telling jokes?

Instead of 'knock knock', they say, 'Arrr you there!'

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

What type of jokes are the least upvoted ones?

Original Jokes.

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Google Jokes More Google Jokes

What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby?

Bettas

What is the most searched word on Bing?

Google.

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Joke Jokes

Why aren't there more jokes about Jim Jones?

Love Card

How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

Why didn't Silento knock before coming inside?

What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you call a room with no walls?

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

Why won't you read this joke?

Why didn't the armless man get the joke?

How does someone with amnesia tell a joke?

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

How many of you know this funny man pakalu papito?

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why did Tony cross the road?

How do you crack a joke on r/Jokes?

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Why Is Chemistry Racist?

Why are some jokes so funny?

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

How many people does it take to tell a joke on reddit?

What's a sharks favorite game?

What to hear a joke about dementia?

I Love Pizza & You

What would you like it to be?

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes?

Who joke what do Dr. Who's enemies do when they get dirty?

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

Why is this joke bad for the environment?

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Why does the house only have one window?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What makes a joke bad?

How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

What don't homeless people get?

How do you call a joke that is not funny?

What's the best part of running a marathon?

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

How do I submit a joke?

What are jokes about janitors called?

Where did the joke wait to get a drink?

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Why do cows like being told jokes?

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

Why can't you email jokes to a jedi?

What do you call Captain Forte and his sidekick Piano?

What's the worst kind of joke?

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?

What do you call joke told by a duck?

Why did yo girl cross the road?

Why isn't /u/JokeExplainBot here anymore?

Where does the thumb meet its type?

When does a joke stop being funny?

What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

What do you call a joke that only works written down instead of told orally?

How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before?

Why don't they tell jokes in base 8?

How fast can Klingon's run?

What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl?

Why aren't orphans laughing?

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

What does the interrupting cow say?

What happened when Helium told a joke?

Why should I submit a joke today?

What do you call jokes that belong to everyone?

What would she do for $20?

Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States?

What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey?