Joke Jokes

Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Because they would crack each other up.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Parsing HTML with regex.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What happens when a fly drinks rum?

It gets buzzed!

Why can't redheads get drunk?

Because they only drink Ginger Ale.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire!

Funniest Jokes More Funniest Jokes

What's the funniest part of a boxing joke?

You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs!

Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck?

Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water?

Bob

What do you call a man with no shin?

Tony

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can't whistle. (X-post from r/dadjokes)