Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."
Just China be funny.
He had no arms. Sorry that joke was stupid, let me try again. Knock Knock "Whose there?" Not Billy
Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.
The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)
Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)
Because they take everything literally.
I was thinking black, but I'm not sure it would work?
Because 7 10 11
They're both tearable.
An explosive punchline
The punchline
It cracked.
You get a tardy grade. (that explains the joke if you don't get it.)
A face palm.
THE LIVER. ometrist will copyright this joke. hopefully.
The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)
Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.
Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now.
You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook
A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.
He Neverlands. I really love this joke because it never grows old!
Humerus.97
Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.
You mustard be joking!
KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is.
The Game.
A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.
The punchline is too long.
Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead.
You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there
Both are a play on words.
They don't find them Hume-erous.
Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.
Because freedom rings.
Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.
Because 7 8 9 A.
An unfunny joke
Punjabi.
Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)
I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.
There wasn't a punch line.
The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.
No one could perform the execution well enough.
In Yeah you'd probably only get this if you read ASOIF but the joke came to me randomly.
You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?
You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already.
Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother
You're nothing but a joke.
Is funny and is a joke!
9 polar bears (joke on a mug at work. lame, ik)
An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)
Because Bruce Lee is no joke.
A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)
Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)
It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.
It's all about the execution
A joke about what kind of dough does an Italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery.
I was at an event the other day and someone asked "So... anyone know any jokes?" What's everyone's "go to" joke in social situations?
The punch line.
With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).
Boo man! Boo!
Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it.
Type "fresh prints" in the "search reddit" box at the right.
You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)
Jalapeno business! ha ha.. haha.. ha love this joke (Usually accompanied with three snaps of the fingers in the shape of the letter Z and moving my head from side to side)
Hahaharvard
Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti No (This is a joke I wrote a loooonnngg time ago, tell me what you think.)
Cosmic jokes.
Because it will go right over his head
Because you cant take a joke.
Because Freedom Rings.
I rock. You Rock. We Rock. Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks.
The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.
Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more "Riddle-y," than say an actual joke.
When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)
Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)
Cause they would quack up.
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
Because 7, 10, 11!
I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...
Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.
A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.
It's a touchy subject.
He doesn't like to be left hanging.
Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part
I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!
Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."
The posters.
Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.
Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.
In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)
It was lame. (I think this is an original by me)
Because the stalks are all ears.
Cause they be quacking jokes
Because 7,10,11!
Ba dum
In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)
Because they're too cornea.
It's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.
I don't remember.
A pit bull in a kindergarten
A bus full of old people
You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.
The first one written
Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.
I've never... META... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(
No pun in ten did!
Partial arts.
A
X-Post from AskReddit) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/32df3n/whatisyourfavoriteonetotwolinejoke/ There were some funny jokes in there
Apparently, not here
Its An Inquiry At The Top Floor Regarding The Vacancy In The Ground Floor.
What does Y-E-S spell
