A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.
He Neverlands. I really love this joke because it never grows old!
Humerus.97
Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.
You mustard be joking!
The Game.
A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.
The punchline is too long.
Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead.
You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there
Both are a play on words.
They don't find them Hume-erous.
Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.
Because freedom rings.
Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.
Because 7 8 9 A.
An unfunny joke
Punjabi.
I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.
There wasn't a punch line.
The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.
No one could perform the execution well enough.
In Yeah you'd probably only get this if you read ASOIF but the joke came to me randomly.
You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?
You take it to the Moo-seum.
Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother
You're nothing but a joke.
9 polar bears
An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)
Because Bruce Lee is no joke.
A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)
Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)
It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.
A joke about what kind of dough does an Italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery.
The punch line.
With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).
Boo man! Boo!
Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it.
You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)
Jalapeno business! ha ha.. haha.. ha love this joke (Usually accompanied with three snaps of the fingers in the shape of the letter Z and moving my head from side to side)
Hahaharvard
Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti No (This is a joke I wrote a loooonnngg time ago, tell me what you think.)
Cosmic jokes.
Because you cant take a joke.
Because Freedom Rings.
I rock. You Rock. We Rock. Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks.
The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.
Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more "Riddle-y," than say an actual joke.
When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)
Sandiego
Cause they would quack up.
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
Because 7, 10, 11!
I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...
Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.
A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.
It's a touchy subject.
He doesn't like to be left hanging.
Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part
I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!
Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."
The posters.
Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.
In a Snow Den.
It was lame. (I think this is an original by me)
Because the stalks are all ears.
Cause they be quacking jokes
Because 7,10,11!
Ba dum
In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)
Because they're too cornea.
I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?
Two of my favorites are:
Because 7, 10, 11.
Well a joke that isn't funny, but still is because it isn't. If you know what I mean. These are kind of much easier to remember.
In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)
It's sin-ful. self made joke
A Nanak Nanak joke.
The punchlines are too long.
This guy!
Who wants to know?
Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in English. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.
People who comment "repost" on a Joke subreddit.
The one who you have to explain the joke to.
Sorry, the punchline is the joke. If you don't get it, ask your dad.
BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.
I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?
Women's Sports.
An airplane! haha Wright brothers :-) I made this joke when I was in Junior high
Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)
I feel so enlightninged!
We saw that same joke two days ago
Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent
Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)
They're both cheesy.
ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...
Dan Quayle wrote this joke.
Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?
At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-
There's Starbucks next to the headstone.
PEEr pressure!
A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.
I don't know but it's not rhelephant.
Urine trouble now.
He refused to integrate.
Your man is open!
A man laughing his head off.
Dad jokes.
Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.
Shelfish
Knotty Pines.
And I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'
Vehicular man's laughter
Apparently, not here
The Darth mall! haha, funny joke.
