Lamp Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

April Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny...

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first off, it's called a lamp...

How do you turn on a lamp?

By seducing it

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

You get light music.

What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.

You might also enjoy:

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg?

Limp Biscuit

What does a bee say before it stings you?

This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer?

Because they were using a Berner Phone.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you feel now?

Me: With my elbows

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

What song did Scar sing when he fixed his car horn?

Beep repaired...

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What did one frog say.to the other?

Time's sure fun when you're having flies!

Aboriginal Jokes More Aboriginal Jokes

What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian?

A half decent person.

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

His son with the xbox.

New Zealand Jokes More New Zealand Jokes

How do men in New Zealand address their women?

Hey! Ewe!

What do you call a shorn sheep in a New Zealand bar?

A skimpy.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!