Lamp Jokes

What do you call an Aboriginal in a lamp?

And Abori-genie.

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How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny...

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first off, it's called a lamp...

How do you turn on a lamp?

By seducing it

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

You get light music.

What light through yonder window breaks?

ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you.

What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.

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Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

What did the woman say to the stamp collector to reject his romantic advances?

Philately will get you no where.

How do you reject a French girl?

Just say neaux.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an Asian flying a plane?

A pirate.

What do you a pterodactyl that can't fly?

Inosaur.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the tv say to the remote control?

You turn me on

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

What is my girlfriend's favorite meal?

A dish called: "I don't know, you choose."

Aladdin Jokes More Aladdin Jokes

What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?

Saladdin.

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What did the feminist say when she saw a guy laughing at her picture on the Internet?

Topical meme.

Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

Because he'd D graded her.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you get if you tie two camels together by the tails?

A palindromedary.

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Electrician Jokes More Electrician Jokes

Why did the electrician multiply distance and voltage?

Because he forgot his voltmeter at home.

How Many A Cappella Singers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Twelve. Three to Physically Change the Bulb, Three to Talk About How Complicated it Was and Six to Call themselves Electricians.