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Lamp Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny...

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first off, it's called a lamp...

How do you turn on a lamp?

By seducing it

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

You get light music.

What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.

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Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg?

Limp Biscuit

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

How do we fix boxing?

We can't. It's already fixed.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an Asian who flies planes?

A pilot.

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

His place is a dump

Where did the pirate go to college?

Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard.

Aladdin Jokes More Aladdin Jokes

Who's there! Aladdin! Aladdin who?

Aladdin the street wants a word with you!

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

Gun hangs head & turns around

Why did the lemon turn green?

Because he had lime disease

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

How do I know thieves are bad kissers?

Because apparently I make out like a bandit.

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.