Offer Jokes

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series?

So they could Starmie.

Which cable provider offers ISIS 24/7 support?

Daesh Network

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver!

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?

An offer you can't understand.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

Change.

How many online courses are offered by the senior learning center?

None. They're old school.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!!

Ted Kennedy Jokes More Ted Kennedy Jokes

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy?

Ted can swim away from an accident.

Daesh Network Jokes More Daesh Network Jokes

What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

Which cable provider offers ISIS 24/7 support?

Daesh Network

Israelite Jokes More Israelite Jokes

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

What did the Israelite say to the American when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

How does a south central chicken cross the road?

In a bucket

How did Jesus get so fit?

He did lots of cross fit

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What subject are snakes good at school?

Hiss-tory!

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.