Salmon Jokes

Why did the salmon cross the road?

To get to the front page

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Salmon

What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

Whats pink and smells like salmon?

Trout

How long did it take the fish to go to the store?

Salmon or eight minutes.

What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon?

IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

What do you call a fish that's on its way to somewhere?

Salmon en route

What did the salmon say when it hit the wall?

Dam

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

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What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand?

Birdsthigh fish fingers!

What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example?

A roe model.

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What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute. I'm so sorry

Nutella Jokes More Nutella Jokes

What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Folder Jokes More Folder Jokes

What is the only type of folder that can make you sick?

Salmon Manilla

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you call the social media that your grandmother uses?

Instagran

Why do priests have lots of kids?

They always use the holy condoms.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish with 27 eyes?

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish

What did the fish skeleton say?

Long time, no sea.

Main Stream Jokes More Main Stream Jokes

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream