Salmon Jokes

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Salmon

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

How long did it take the fish to go to the store?

Salmon or eight minutes.

What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon?

IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

What do you call a fish that's on its way to somewhere?

Salmon en route

What did the salmon say when it hit the wall?

Dam

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand?

Birdsthigh fish fingers!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example?

A roe model.

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Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What happens to criminal photons?

They get put in prism!

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

Folder Jokes More Folder Jokes

What folder do emails from histrionic venture capitalists go in?

Deleted

What is the only type of folder that can make you sick?

Salmon Manilla

Spare Jokes More Spare Jokes

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

Why can the Cornish always lend a hand?

They probably have a spare.

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

What do you give a cannibal late for Sunday lunch?

The cold shoulder

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar?

You have to read ursine.

What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?

Camembert!

Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.