Sick Bird Jokes

What kind of sick bird is against the law?

An ill eagle

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What's the difference between illegal and unlawful?

One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.

What do you get when you kiss a sick bird?

Cherpies.

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One's against the law, and the other's a sick bird.

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

What do you call a sick bird?

An illegal.

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other is sick bird.

What do you give a sick bird?

A tweetment

Why did the sick bird get deported?

He was an ill eagle.

What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.

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They prey on you!

What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.

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What's the difference between an erection and a Camaro?

I don't have a Camaro....

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

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Why is Hillary running for President?

Because it's easier than running from the law.

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

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Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!! (Ill see myself out...)

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and agnostic?

Someone who stays up wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails?

A cruiseifixion.

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How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb?

Tut-an-kham-en

Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?

Air Conditioning

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How high can Miss Piggy count?

68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat...

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

Soar Jokes More Soar Jokes

Why was the bird sick?

It had the flew and its throat was soar.

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM