Camera Jokes

What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia?

If the shutter makes a "crick" noise.

What do you call the camera used for colonoscopys?

A GoProbe.

What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck?

A daeshcam

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

How can we supply that many?

Jesus: *winks at camera*

Why do Canadian cops not need to wear body cameras?

Because Tim Hortons already has cameras!

What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?

By selling your camera.

How are condoms like cameras?

They capture your special moments.

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

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Why are condoms like cameras?

They both capture the moment.

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A camera that takes pictures of itself.

Why did the Caucasian gymnast fall off the balance beam while on television?

Because the white balance was off on the camera.

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)

How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist?

Because the camera adds 10 pounds.

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

What do you call a puppy with a camera?

A furtographer

What does a camera have in common with a condom?

They both capture that special moment.

What do you call a camera with severe mood swings?

A BiPolaroid

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Whats the difference between a duck?

One foots both the same!

What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What is it that separates humans from animals?

The Mediterranean Sea

What animals talk on the telephone the most?

The yakety-yaks!

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005?

Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet.

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors?

Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the brain cell go to the other side of the brain?

I don't know. It hadn't really crossed my mind.

How did the astrologer cross the road?

In his Taurus!

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera?

A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What does the ISIS member say about telling good jokes?

It's all in the execution.

What's a member of ISIS's favorite game?

Mario Kart: Double Daesh!!

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

How do you reduce wind-drag on a musician's car?

Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thinly you slice them.

Warn Jokes More Warn Jokes

What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York?

Pigpockets.

How did the thermal imaging camera warn the mountain-climber?

Isee cold.