Camera Jokes

What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia?

If the shutter makes a "crick" noise.

What do you call the camera used for colonoscopys?

A GoProbe.

What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck?

A daeshcam

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

How can we supply that many?

Jesus: *winks at camera*

Why do Canadian cops not need to wear body cameras?

Because Tim Hortons already has cameras!

What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer?

By selling your camera.

How are condoms like cameras?

They capture your special moments.

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

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Why are condoms like cameras?

They both capture the moment.

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A camera that takes pictures of itself.

Why did the Caucasian gymnast fall off the balance beam while on television?

Because the white balance was off on the camera.

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)

How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist?

Because the camera adds 10 pounds.

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

How do you silence a group of women?

Bring out your camera.

What do you call a puppy with a camera?

A furtographer

What does a camera have in common with a condom?

They both capture that special moment.

Who does he shoot first?

The bystander with the camera.

What do you call a camera with severe mood swings?

A BiPolaroid

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How did Christopher Columbus find India?

He used Apple Maps.

What did Russians use for light before candles?

Light bulbs

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do you want to work in a bank Alan?

Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do you call a man with no feet and is allergic to milk?

Lack-toes intolerant

What kind of nuts go on your feet?

Cashews.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

What do you call a turtle that sends pictures to everyone?

A Snapping Turtle

9 Year Old Jokes More 9 Year Old Jokes

What do you call an egg that cures cancer?

A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.

What did one dry erase marker say to the other?

I'm bored! (As in board) Another one from my 9 year-old.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cricket with a bat?

Nothing as they cannot breed with each other

Why'd the chicken cross The Road?

Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.

Camel Jokes More Camel Jokes

What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

What is the difference between a camel and a college student?

Camel can go days without drinking!