Date Jokes

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

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Why should you never date an atom?

The split is gonna be explosive

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

Why couldn't the Tuba player get a date?

He was too low key.

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

What did the fisherman do on his date?

Netfish and krill

Why should you never take a pig out on a date?

She might squeal on you.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

What do you call an elephant that doesn't keep up to date?

Irrelephant

Where do wind gusts go to on dates?

To Chicago

What's the best part about dating a homeless chick?

You can drop her off wherever.

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What's the best month for dating?

Sep-tinder!

What did Jay Z call his girlfriend when they were dating?

A Feyonce

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

How to have an unforgettable date?

1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now?

Germany/Brasil 7-1

Why couldn't the traffic light get a date?

She was wearing no turn on red.:

Why did the raisin go out with a prune?

He couldn't get a date!

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick?

Because the Doctor can never see him.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why do Americans hate knock knock jokes?

Because Freedom Rings.

What is one thing that both Australians &amp Americans share the same view on?

1961

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus!

What Do you Call a Bowler that drops his ball a lot?

Gutterfingers!

Ai Jokes More Ai Jokes

What did the wolfman say to the sentient AI?

I am a were

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How much does a slave cost?

I have no idea, I just know they aren't free

What do you do to relax?

I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a turkey with no arms?

A turkey

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

Ok Jokes More Ok Jokes

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*