Holiday Jokes

Where do strippers go on holiday?

Poland

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What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

Tanksgiving

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

He was snowden

Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays?

Frants!

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What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday?

Stingapore!

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

What's the worst part about baiting a fish hook really well?

Everyone knows you're a master baiter!

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

What do you call a troop of rabbits marching single-file in reverse?

A receding hare line.

What are you doing there, rabbit?

Rabbit replies "This is a westinghouse, isn't it "

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

What's the difference between a Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops at 3 ho's

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a medal?

Because they're crossing the Finnish line.

Why does LeVar Burton not like to travel by airplane?

He usually flies twice as high.

Kawaii Jokes More Kawaii Jokes

What do you call the Japanese police force?

Kawaii Five-0

L. Jokes More L. Jokes

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

Naughty Girl Jokes More Naughty Girl Jokes

Why is Santa such a jolly old elf?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

Why is Santa Clause always so Jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What is yellow and lives off beetles?

Yoko Ono

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick