Holiday Jokes

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

Tanksgiving

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

He was snowden

Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays?

Frants!

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday?

Stingapore!

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Why dont blacks celibrate Thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

When you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying?

They only speak in Morse-toad!

Why do frogs have webbed feet?

To stamp out forest fires!

Weeaboo Jokes More Weeaboo Jokes

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

Ghoul Jokes More Ghoul Jokes

What do you call a mix between holiday poultry and a ghoul?

A gobblin.

How do ghosts get ghouls interested in them?

They woooooooOOOOOOOooooo them.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

Carl Jokes More Carl Jokes

What's Rick Grimes' favorite holiday?

Christmas, Carl

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why can Chinese bands rehearse so much?

They're never short of Sichuan musicians.

What did the Chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes?

I have no Idea.