Holiday Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

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Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Where do strippers go on holiday?

Poland

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

Tanksgiving

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

He was snowden

Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

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Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays?

Frants!

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday?

Stingapore!

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

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What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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Chinese Person Jokes More Chinese Person Jokes

What Is a Chinese persons favorite holiday?

Chinko De Mayo

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

Weeaboo Jokes More Weeaboo Jokes

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Carl Jokes More Carl Jokes

What's Rick Grimes' favorite holiday?

Christmas, Carl

Ghoul Jokes More Ghoul Jokes

How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

Replace the nails with screws.

How do you make a ghoul float?

1 cup of root beer, 2 scoops of ghoul.