Pear Jokes

What do you call two pears?

A pair.

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Why was the fruit farmer losing money?

He couldn't grow a pear

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

Why can't you have two Apple watches?

Because then it would be a pair (pear)!

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What are twins favorite fruits?

Pears

What did the apple say to the pear?

Man, go away!

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

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Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

Why is an apple a Dalek's favourite fruit?

Because it keeps the Doctor away!

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?

What do you call a family of Orthopaedic doctors?

A Joint family.

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What did Joan Rivers say to God when she arrived?

Get a new robe!

What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why did the accountant go crazy?

He started to hear invoices in his head.

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

Favorite Fruit Jokes More Favorite Fruit Jokes

What are twins favorite fruits?

Pears

What is someone who just got left at the alters least favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did Pete Carroll find Marshawn Lynch in a tree?

I'm just here so I don't get find.

What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?

A bah-humbug.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?

Bike carbonate of soda!

Plum Jokes More Plum Jokes

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

What's similar between an elephant and a plum?

They're both grey except for the plum.