Queen Jokes

How does a queen get around her kingdom?

She gets throne.

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What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects?

Because she was too ahoof.

What is it called when the Queen farts?

A noble gas!

What is something that is always heard but never seen?

A member of the Queen's guard doing a single squat.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

Who's gonna be the next queen of R&ampB?

I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!

Why do the bees have honey?

Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing.

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

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Why was Cleopatra so negative?

Because she was queen of denial.

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen?

Sorry mate.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

Carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

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Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey?

Anchor.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the difference between 1 Gb and 2 Gb?

Student - Well, I don't know. I guess one is a bit too high?

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

Finland Jokes More Finland Jokes

What do you get if your Kia is stolen in Finland?

No Kia

Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?

Because it's a Finnish hymn.

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??

A Cantaloupe.

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why do certain Asian boxers hate the Rebel Alliance?

Because they are Thai fighters.

What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?

Panda-monium.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church?

Because they sing hymns, not hers.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

Sail Jokes More Sail Jokes

Why Was The Canvas Maker Late Home From Work?

He had to close a sail.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

Red Jokes More Red Jokes

What's black, blue, and red all over?

The Grudge at a rave.

Why is yellow afraid of red?

Because red blue green.