Queen Jokes

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

April Sale

Love

$5.99

Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles?

Dead in a tunnel.

How does a queen get around her kingdom?

She gets throne.

What is a Mexican's favorite Queen song?

I Juan to break free

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects?

Because she was too ahoof.

What is it called when the Queen farts?

A noble gas!

Who was the first Mexican to be knighted by the Queen?

Sir Veza

What did the Queen fans say at the stoning?

We will We will Rock you!

What is something that is always heard but never seen?

A member of the Queen's guard doing a single squat.

April Sale

We've Got This Love Thing Down

$5.99

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

Who's gonna be the next queen of R&ampB?

I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!

Why do the bees have honey?

Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing.

What will people say when Prince Charles dies?

Long live the Queen.

How would you tell if the Queen was stoned?

Her Highness will tell you

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

Why was Cleopatra so negative?

Because she was queen of denial.

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

April Sale

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$14.99 $19.99

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen?

Sorry mate.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

Carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

How do you make the king leer?

Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)

You might also enjoy:

England Jokes More England Jokes

Why is England the wettest country?

Monarchies have reigned there for centuries.

Why were India kicked out of the Soccer World Cup held in England in 1966?

A. Every time they were given a corner, they built a shop.

Queen England Jokes More Queen England Jokes

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms?

A 2na

What's the difference......between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

50$

What do you call a burger made from 50% beef and 50% veal?

Half Calf

War Jokes More War Jokes

Which war had the most overweight soldiers?

VietNOMNOMNOM

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Sail Jokes More Sail Jokes

Why Was The Canvas Maker Late Home From Work?

He had to close a sail

What does the aardvark take sailing?

An aard ark!

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken Sedan.

What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?

4 the home team

12 Inch Jokes More 12 Inch Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

What is white, 12 inches long, and not a fluorescent light bulb?

Nothing.