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Sound Jokes

What sound does a doorbell make in China?

Ping pong.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?

Neighbor

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make?

ITS RAWR!

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

What sound does and alcohlic train make?

Chug chug chug chug chug chug...

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?

He called the piano tuna!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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Urinate Jokes More Urinate Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

How do Japanese people refer to American politicians?

Parti-san

What do you get if you take the red circle off a Japanese flag?

The French flag.

Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What did Batman say to the joker when he finally caught him?

Gotham

What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be?

Batman. Why Because he can't go out at night without Robin!

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

D Jokes More D Jokes

What kind of sounds does Jaimie Foxx make in the bedroom?

No sound at all, the D is silent

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

Mushroom Jokes More Mushroom Jokes

Why was the mushroom a hit at parties?

Because he was a

What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?

The shiitalkie mushroom.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why was the baguette excited for his audition?

He heard he might be playing a big roll

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

What has eight arms and an IQ of 80?

Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!