Sound Jokes

What sound does a doorbell make in China?

Ping pong.

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What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse?

Neighbor

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

What sound does a Gordonramseysaurus make?

ITS RAWR!

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

What sound does and alcohlic train make?

Chug chug chug chug chug chug...

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?

He called the piano tuna!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

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Dead Silence Jokes More Dead Silence Jokes

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

Who was that, your girlfriend?

Everyone laughs* NERD: "Nope. It was yours." *Dead silence*

D Jokes More D Jokes

What do these shoes do?

GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Harley Jokes More Harley Jokes

What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?

The location of the dirtbag.

What does a mushroom on a Harley sound like?

Shroom, shroom. shroom

Pterodactyl Jokes More Pterodactyl Jokes

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The p is silent.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a whiz?

Because the P is silent!

Bedroom Jokes More Bedroom Jokes

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What's his name?

A man walks into a bedroom and sees a hot, naked woman lying face-down on the bed. Q: What's his name? A: Willie Turner Q: What's name? A: Betty Will

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why is everything lying on the floor?

My mom asked Gravity, I replied.