Submit Jokes

What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why aren't people afraid to submit reposts?

Because there's no karma involved.

How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

What's the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I don't know, I just click "submit"

Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I dunno, i just click submit

What do cats and people that submit jokes with the punchline "PLAGIARISM" have in common?

THEY BOTH LICK THEIR PAWS!

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesarus (Credit goes to whoever submitted that to the Coffee News)

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

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What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

What do they say for jokes about German sausages?

They are the wurst.

Involve Jokes More Involve Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

School Jokes More School Jokes

Why was the math teacher late for school?

He took the rhombus

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

The alphabat.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because of the tree bark.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue?

You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!

What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into?

None of your abyss-ness

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did the dog say after a hard day at work?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it

Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is Kylo Ren so lonely all the time?

He's Ben Solo his whole life

How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".