Vacuum Jokes

Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.

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What do you call someone who cleans vacuums?

A vacuum cleaner.

What do nature and dogs have in common?

They both abhor a vacuum.

Why can't Buddhists vacuum in corners?

Because they don't have attachments!

What's the worst part of a vacuum?

Nothing.

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The vacuum has the dirtbag on the inside.

What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson?

The position of the dirtbag

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space?

Because he was scared of vacuums!

Why is outer space so clean?

It's a vacuum!

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

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How do Astronauts screw in a lightbulb?

They don't: They screw in a vacuum.

Who abhors a vacuum more than nature?

A cat.

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

What is a Queens job?

She Queens and vacuums

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Motorcycle Jokes More Motorcycle Jokes

Why was the motorcycle going so slow?

Because it was two tired!

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Dragonball characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes him 20 episodes.

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Snoop Dogg Jokes More Snoop Dogg Jokes

Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle.

How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white?

BLE-YATCH!

Nature Jokes More Nature Jokes

What is your least favorite force of nature?

Gravity. It's always bringing me down.

What do you call a hip-hop trio with boosted Attack but hindered Special Attack?

Naughty by Nature

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

What do you call a donut that is out of this world?

Astronaut-----

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Highlanders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

What do you call a Mexican Buddhist?

Om-bre

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.