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Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?

They got married in the spring.

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the Chinese man say when Winter came around?

Reddit snow, reddit snow, reddit snow!

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was the fish swimming alone?

Because he left the school.

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What does a depressed girl do when she needs to get a lot of work done?

She takes Sadderall.

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What job do you never stop training for?

Conductor

Why did the stoneworker get fired?

Because he took his job for granite

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

I. Jokes More I. Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

What does a pirate have in common with the alphabet?

They only have one I.

Typo Jokes More Typo Jokes

What blod type are you?

I replied "Typo".

What's your blud type bob?

Typo

Bye Jokes More Bye Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.