Apartment Jokes

How many ants can you fit inside an apartment?

Ten-ants!

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment?

Ten ants (Tenants)

What do you call a Pirate you share an apartment with?

Your room-matey.

How many ants does it takes to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish!

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten ants!

Why can't an angle lease an apartment alone?

Because he has to cosign

Why are so many people in San Francisco homeless?

They can't afford an apartment because they only make 50 grand per year.

How many ants does it take to own an apartment?

10. It requires tenants to own an apartment.

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Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

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Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the cookie cry?

It was feeling crumby.

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?

Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland

What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?

One is loud obnoxious and noisy the other is a bird.

Name Jokes More Name Jokes

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet?

Ben/Anna!

How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

Staircase Jokes More Staircase Jokes

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex?

So he could solve the staircase.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank?

Because she had an interest in the principal.

What goes "Hahahahaha...*thud*"?

Someone laughing their head off

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?

Discordant!

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.