Artist Jokes

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist.

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What do you call a artist with a rash?

Leonardo Da Itchy

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince"

Why did the artist throw his eraser away?

Because it wasn't

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What did the artist say to the dentist?

Matisse hurt!

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

Who's the artist you find in the supermarket?

Salvador Deli

What do you call an artist in a dark alley?

Sketchy

Whats the difference between a park bench and an artist?

A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings?

He wanted to mount an exhibit!

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist?

Because he was sketchy.

What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Why do artists never win when they play football?

They keep drawing!

How did the artist paint a picture?

Easel-y.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did Norman Bates call his little sister?

You know you see it coming...) A: Psycho-sis! (I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)

What's white and drips from the cloud?

The coming of the Lord.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They can't get up that high!

Renaissance Jokes More Renaissance Jokes

What do you call a Renaissance snack?

A DaVincheese curl

What do Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael have in common?

They're all Renaissance Italian artists.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why don't cows drink milk?

Because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm?

So that they can say they liked it before it was cool.

Vocabulary Jokes More Vocabulary Jokes

Why do you keep saying flail?

Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary. ------- Overheard on the train.

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

Scam Artist Jokes More Scam Artist Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs?

Condescending

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

How do you make a bunch of Redditors mad?

Deleted

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

Whats an Italians favourite part of football?

Half time, they get to switch sides again

Why Did the Italian Go to the Sauna?

For a self'a steam.