Bird Jokes

What do you call a bird that flies over a baseball stadium?

A fowl!

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What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows

Why didn't John die?

John is a bird.

What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics?

A hummingbird

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?

A bird that will talk you ear off!

Which bird ran for President?

H. Ross Parrot

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

How many birds can play tic-tac-toe?

Toucan

What's the bird of love?

The Swallow.

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What kind of bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

When should you buy a bird?

When it's going Cheep.

What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?

A budgerigrrrrr!

Why did you steal that bird?

Prisoner: For a lark sir.

What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk?

A bird that stinks to high heaven.

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What is the most commonly heard four-letter word in a whorehouse?

Next!

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment?

Ten ants (Tenants)

How many ants does it takes to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

Where are the colored printers?

I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray.

Unique Bird Jokes More Unique Bird Jokes

How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame bird? Tame way you caught the unique bird.

How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame bird? Tame way unique up on it.

Prey Jokes More Prey Jokes

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

What did the owl say to the squirrel?

Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey.

Topic Jokes More Topic Jokes

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Sky Jokes More Sky Jokes

How many fams does it take to get the sky lit?

Just one sun

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Because they are already "in the skies".