Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold.

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed!

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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What do you call a women who always knows where her husband is?

A widow

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head?

Petal!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch?

He died in agony!

Why do they have fences around cemetaries?

Because people are dying to get in.

Fisherman Jokes More Fisherman Jokes

When does a fisherman offend you the most?

When he's completely out of line

What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night?

Net fish and krill

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.

Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold?

The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) No I am not a dad

Sea Lion Jokes More Sea Lion Jokes

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!

What is the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An electron

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why did the water level in the pond rise?

Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.

What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Long time no sea.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

What did the sea monster have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

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Why Does the Pope wear Boxers?

He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed.

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.