Day Jokes

Why should a honeymoon only be six days?

Because seven days makes a whole week.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

March Madness Sale

Your Age Is Only Math

$5.99

What's the scariest thing to wake up to in the morning?

Another day.

What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night?

Nocturtle

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

Because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

What is the American national day for vampires?

Fangsgiving Day.

How does a seamstress reply to someone asking her how her day was?

So,so.....

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

How many people does it take to make a joke on /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.

Who doesn't?

There he is now Medieval Art: Good morrow! Pray tell- How fare thee on this day of providence

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

March Madness Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

Why are black people getting stronger?

Because the televisions these days are getting heavier.

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hella. How long does it take them Days.

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

You might also enjoy:

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Why do saunas remind some people of blonde's?

Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.

Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice?

Because his mind was always on a pellet.

Enter Jokes More Enter Jokes

What does Batman ask when he enters a butcher shop?

Gotham?

What's that one room zombies can never enter?

The LIVING room

Patrick Jokes More Patrick Jokes

Why did Patrick's girlfriend have to go to the doctor?

She had a weast infection.

What's the difference between mlk day and St. Patrick's Day?

Everyone WANTS to be Irish on st Patrick's day.

Bmw Jokes More Bmw Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

What is the tastiest car ever?

The BMW I8.

Strong Day Jokes More Strong Day Jokes

What are the strongest days?

Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day Jokes More Martin Luther King Jr. Day Jokes

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day?

Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride?

It was two tired...

Why did the Englishman wear a tie to his vasectomy?

Because he wanted to look mptnt