Unbereavable.
Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.
Raisin' Bran.
Go Ahead Make My Day
Dayscare centers
He spent all day gargoyling.
I want to know her secret
None
And he goes: " rrrrRough "
By Bony Express.
Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)
Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!
Dino-sore
Everyone kept saying it was back to school time.
Your grandma's Jaws
Pupil: I get up early!
Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)
Because he plays with Pooh all day.
Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.
At the beauty salon" "Were they closed! "
Ten-ish.
Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet
Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
Johnny Depp's stylist every day.
Because I wore the wrong sock that day.
Two days.
Because then the children have to play inside.
ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT
Because he felt his days were numbered.
Yesterday
Because it won't even give you the time of day.
Because everyone over there is doing IT!
Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days
4:00 For:Klock
The media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.
Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!
Money's tight these days!
He took a day off
The mourning
2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!
You meet new people every day.
He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks
I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake
Hella. How long does it take them Days.
It's days were numbered.
Water.
When the big hand touches the little one
Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.
No problem, He sleeps at night.
The day they're Dubai.
They put on the Google!
What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!
X-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.
Paint the town red.
It says, "Shhh!" all day!
To the wax museum.
Because everything is a steal.
Player: I finished it in three days!
Tooth-hurty
Fry-day
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ!
What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."
A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.
Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.
Bison
She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.
Running into one could really ruin your day.
At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
Because it dampens their souls!!!!
Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."
Earth Day, it's all about recycling!
Jose can you see, by the dawn's early light...
Because it was a government job.
New gloves for the cold days
He spent all day on the web.
It's Christmas, Eve!
C's the day!
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!
Some day you will be red!
A sadder day.
V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.
May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.
Excuse me " "Is your person white " "I don't see skin color I just see people"
May Day!
The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day
Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99
Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.
Moandays.
His days were numbered.
Because it's Boxing Day!
X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.
Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.
Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it
Do the math! Me: Seriously! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow
Because the chicken was having a day off!
I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it
Some days the wind doesn't blow.
Deja Moo!
Doris' day.
Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!
Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.
Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.
Saturday and Sunday, because the rest are weak days.
The other one answers: -Oh fifty dollars, like everybody else, why
Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.
Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.
He tried, but it didn't work out.
Because there is no try.
Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.
It was Saint Patrick's Day.
Sunday school.
Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed
Yogi
They like to express the right to bear arms.
