Million Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

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Why did Adele cross the road?

To say Hello from the other side. I called you a million times.

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.

What did Star Trek teach millions of kids?

To boldly split infinitives!

How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

What has a million legs but can't walk?

Jerry's Kids.

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..

What has a million and one legs but still can't walk?

Jerry's kids.

How many reps would you usually do?

He asked. "A million," I rep lied.

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Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

The rest of them will write Perl

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Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 4 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Pterodactyls Jokes More Pterodactyls Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because pterodactyls are extinct.

Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom?

Their P is silent.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?

Disney Movies still touch kids

What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes?

He was just a nerdy digger.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.

Why doesn't God like fruitcake?

Because he doesn't exist.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.

Why did the fan blow itself?

Because it was turned on!

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

What did the chicken say before it crossed the road?

I'll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!

Why did Eeyore cross the road?

To get to the other... *sigh*

Sean Murray Jokes More Sean Murray Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

What did EA give Sean Murray for a parting gift upon leaving EA?

Game dev lessons.

Java Jokes More Java Jokes

Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?

Because they use a strongly typed language.

What does it sound like when Java laughs?

Java -jar jar.jar