Million Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

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Why did Adele cross the road?

To say Hello from the other side. I called you a million times.

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.

What did Star Trek teach millions of kids?

To boldly split infinitives!

How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

What has a million legs but can't walk?

Jerry's Kids.

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..

What has a million and one legs but still can't walk?

Jerry's kids.

How many reps would you usually do?

He asked. "A million," I rep lied.

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Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

The rest of them will write Perl

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Promise Jokes More Promise Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had

Perl Jokes More Perl Jokes

What's the I.T. guy's favorite Pokémon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

The rest of them will write Perl

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...

Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths?

Because in Japan they're rocksmiths.

Adele Jokes More Adele Jokes

What PC does Adele use?

A Dell.

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Racist Joke Jokes More Racist Joke Jokes

What are your best racist jokes?

I find racist jokes to be the funniest! Share your best racist jokes here, but please stay respectful

What's with all of these racist jokes on reddit?

They're starting to get quite dark

Million Year Jokes More Million Year Jokes

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but it takes eight million years.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What does a Obstetrician and a well written joke have in common?

They deliver

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

Sean Murray Jokes More Sean Murray Jokes

What did EA give Sean Murray for a parting gift upon leaving EA?

Game dev lessons.

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users