Outer Space Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space. (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

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Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

What do you call a Canadian in outer space?

An Eh-lien!

How do you organize a party in outer space?

You planet.

Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space?

Because he was scared of vacuums!

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?

Because there is no atmosphere!

Why is outer space so clean?

It's a vacuum!

How do you have a party in outer space?

You plan-et.

What do you call an egg from outer space?

An unidentified flying omelet!

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What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?

Steer Wars.

What do you call the Asian-Mexican master race from outer space?

Illegal Aryans

What type of currency do people use in outer space?

STARbucks.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the bartender say to the angry speaker?

We don't want any treble

What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Battle Jokes More Battle Jokes

What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?

ATTACH!

What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars?

Wat-heirlooms.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)

What do cow pastures smell like?

Dairy air

Dislike Jokes More Dislike Jokes

What pier is disliked by almost everybody?

Piers Morgan.

Why do indegionous people dislike snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call a bird that flies over a baseball stadium?

A fowl!

Whats the difference between a hospital and a terrorist stronghold?

I dunno I just fly the drone.....

Mickey Mouse Jokes More Mickey Mouse Jokes

Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse?

She's only attracted to colored guys.

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

Because Donald ducked.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?

Sparky.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?

NME (enemy).

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal