Russian Jokes

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?

The SALT talks!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What are their nationalities?

Russian and Finnish!

Why Russians never drive stick shift?

They really hate Stalin

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

Which Russian leader is always farting?

Putin

What's the Russian President's favorite song?

Putin on the Ritz!" I'll be here all week guys.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

What do you call a Russian cat that's been to space?

A cos-meow-naut.

What is a Russian man's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea River

What do you call a happy Russian?

Gladimir Putin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What was the Russian mohel's name?

Borris Kutchyakockoff

How do the Russian people feel about their government?

They're Putin up with it.

How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving?

He's Russian to Turkey.

What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

Why did the Russian man keep making excuses?

He was just stalin for time

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What do you call Russian trees?

Dimitrees

What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree

Crimea Jokes More Crimea Jokes

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

Russian Accent Jokes More Russian Accent Jokes

What does a Russian burglar wear?

Robber boots.

Camel Jokes More Camel Jokes

What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humpfree!

What's the spaciest kind of camel?

Andromedary

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do you know that Santa is a man?

No woman wears the same attire every year.

Why JFK doesn't wear hats?

It is an airport.

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What do you call a physicist who makes lets play videos?

Quarkiplier

Why did the video of the eighth note get taken off of youtube?

It got flagged.

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."

Why do blondes always die before help arrives?

They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

Golf Course Jokes More Golf Course Jokes

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.