Sing Jokes

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.

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What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?

I must throw that doggie out the window!"!

What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

What old-time song is the burgers' favourite?

Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!

What do I look for in a car?

A sound-proof cabin so I can sing every rap lyric regardless of the neighborhood I'm driving through.

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

Because Sam sung better than him

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

What's the difference between a black person and a bicycle tire?

The bicycle tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

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What happens if you sing country music backwards?

You get your job and your wife back.

Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs?

Not Mariah Carey

Which song would an exception sing?

Can't catch me - Avicii

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Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car would the Hamburglar drive?

A Hamburghini.

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny...

Christmas Music Jokes More Christmas Music Jokes

What's the difference between modern pop and Christmas music?

One is 6 people singing 100 songs, the other is 100 people singing 6 songs.

What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?

Christmas music will still be playing next year.

Meld Jokes More Meld Jokes

What does Spock sing in the shower?

I'll stop the world and meld with you!

Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

How many American presidents does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

None, broken lightbulbs have the rights to be treated as a normal lightbulb.

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What was the vegan craving when he got bit by a zombie?

GRRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS

What happened to the two zombies who went on a date?

They had a mantic** time.

Dell Jokes More Dell Jokes

Which computer sings the best?

A Dell

Why does Windows 10 say "Hello"?

Because my PC is a Dell.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

What instrument does God play?

He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God."

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

What is a zombies' favorite food?

Brains. What is a dyslexic zombies' favorite food Brians.

Why does keeping tropical fish in your home have a calming effect on the brain?

Because of the indoor fins.