Atom Jokes

What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

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What did the duck say after it split the atom?

Quark! Quark!

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything. Credit to from an askreddit thread about what not to trust.

What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist?

A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves.

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter.

Why are atoms so serious?

Because they're no laughing matter.

What did the nucleus say to get the electron up?

Up and atom!

Where does an atom go when it breaks down?

A quantum mechanic. lel

Why should you never date an atom?

The split is gonna be explosive

What kind of fish is made of just two atoms?

2 Na

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

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What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

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Explanation Jokes More Explanation Jokes

What do you call an explanation of an Asian cooking show?

A wok-through.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What are the similarities between my work shirt and the children of Flint, MI?

They both were recently ironed.

What's the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

What's the only thing you can say when the Chinese Restaurant over booked your reservation?

Welp. You dim sum, you lose some

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Sunscreen Jokes More Sunscreen Jokes

What is another name for sunscreen?

SOLution

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Literally Jokes More Literally Jokes

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink?

I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW

16 Atom Jokes More 16 Atom Jokes

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

What do Batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common?

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na