Atom Jokes

What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

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What did the duck say after it split the atom?

Quark! Quark!

What's a bear's favorite fruit?

Tom (). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug:

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything. Credit to from an askreddit thread about what not to trust.

What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist?

A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves.

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter (go ahead and down vote :P)

Why are atoms so serious?

Because they're no laughing matter.

What did the nucleus say to get the electron up?

Up and atom!

Where does an atom go when it breaks down?

A quantum mechanic. lel

Why should you never date an atom?

The split is gonna be explosive

What kind of fish is made of just two atoms?

2 Na

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Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

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What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

Split Jokes More Split Jokes

Where did Czechslovakia split up?

At the Czech-out line.

What do you do on a date with a feminist?

Split the bill.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why are lawyers always buried 15 feet deep?

Because deep down they're good people.

Why do you want your lawyer to be a U2 fan?

Cos they're always pro-Bono

16 Jokes More 16 Jokes

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

What has 16 legs and speaks German?

Dppelspider

Hydrogen Atom Jokes More Hydrogen Atom Jokes

What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common?

Absolutely nothing.

What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided?

The doctor had to heal-ium.

Electron Jokes More Electron Jokes

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?

An electron

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you ever trust a cat?

Because they are always lion

Why does that sign say Grand Canyon?

Are you sure this is the right way Lemming: Just trust me, ok

Bernie Madoff Jokes More Bernie Madoff Jokes

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!