Eye Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A horse and rider.

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane?

I have my eye on you.

What has eyes but can't see?

Hellen Keller

Why was the fish swimming backwards?

It didn't want to get water in its eyes.

What has two feet, two hands, two eyes, and two noses?

Two pirates.

Why are dogs always SENSITIVE?

Because they have tears in their eyes

Why do think that?

The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."

What have 12 legs six eyes three tails and can't see?

Three blind mice!

What do you call... What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

A doyouthinkhesawus (saurus)!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

What has no eyes and four legs?

No idea.

What do you call a pirate with two legs, two arms and two eyes?

Noob.

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

Why are your eyes dilated?

Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"

What's the square root of Optimus Prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.

You'll strain your eyes.

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

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Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

An independant!

What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Injury Jokes More Injury Jokes

What's the difference between a WWE wrestler and a soccer player?

A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.

What do you call a mathematician who fakes injuries?

Fibbinouchie.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Whats the difference between Congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of tree likes a high five?

A palm tree

What kind of ant can count?

An account*ant*.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?

Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets? A: To smell like big girls.

Whats long, green, and smells like pork?

Kermits finger

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do I know Sarah's a vegetarian?

Because I've met herbivore.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Medicine Jokes More Medicine Jokes

What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

They went on stroke.

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

Blue Eye Jokes More Blue Eye Jokes

What do you get when you cross a blue eye and a brown eye?

Pink eye

What has blonde hair, blue eyes and tends to ailed animals?

A VeterinArian.