Ford Jokes

What do you call a Ford on top of a hill?

A lie

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Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?

It said Focus.

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

What is the car that everyone sleeps in?

The Ford Siesta Many thanks to for that one.

What's your favorite pick up line?

Mine is the Ford F Series.

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

How do you get a Ford recalled?

Wait.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

What car does the Loch Ness Monster drive?

A Ford F-tree-fiddy

What would Chrysler's version of the Ford Focus be called?

Chrysler Concentrate

What do you call a Harrison Ford one man show?

A Han Solo performance.

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What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

What's your favorite pickup line?

Mine is the Ford F Series.

How is a voiceless crow like a Ford dealer?

They both have broken kaa's.

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What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

Han So-High

What do you call a Harrison Ford one man show?

A Han Solo performance.

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What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school?

How should I know? I just fly the drones.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through one of his skits without laughing

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for fresh prints.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

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What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

How far along are you?

ME: 5 stops.

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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

How do you pick up older Spanish women?

Hola Seniority

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What car does Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice box?

Because it says "concentrate"

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?

Because it said concentrate.