Belt Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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What does a belt like to do?

Getting Waisted

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

How do you tell if someone is a safety engineer?

They are wearing suspenders and a belt.

Why did the belt get locked up?

He held up a pair of pants.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

What did the hat say to the belt?

You hang around I'll go on ahead

What did Whitney Houston's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt?

It's not right, but it's OK

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Why is your voice gone?

Are you ok Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman"* I'm ok...allergies are bad.

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What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

What did 0 say to 8?

Why's your belt so tight bruh

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?

He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression in her forehead.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

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What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?

Haremail.

What was Roe v. Wade really about?

The fastest way to get across a river.

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How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

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What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks?

A Roman Catholic.

What do you call a nun on the run?

A ROMAN CATHOLIC!

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg?

Marked down!

What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

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What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common?

They both have flies on them.

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

Cardboard Belt Jokes More Cardboard Belt Jokes

What do you call a cardboard belt?

A waist of paper.

What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt?

That's a waist of paper!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish

What time does a mechanic wake up?

Oily!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

For disturbing the peas!

Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

Coz he was high