Build Jokes

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

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What do angry beavers build?

DAMNITS!

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Why did the console peasant cross the street?

To render the building on the other side!

What do you call a building you can't locate?

A warehouse

When does a black person goes to school?

When it's being built!

What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

C4 yourself!

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What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

Why did the bees build the hive?

It's in their beehavior.

What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?

We're going to build a wall

What do people in florida do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

Why do people keep building so many new mausoleums?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

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What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call a paraplegic archer?

Legolas.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What do you call a snake that has been knighted?

Sir Pent...

Empire State Building Jokes More Empire State Building Jokes

What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building?

New Yolk

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

What's the difference between Brazil and Oscar Pistorious?

Oscar Pistorious has a better defence and more shots on Target

Why don't terrorists shop at Walmart?

They prefer a Target.

Civil Engineer Jokes More Civil Engineer Jokes

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What's the difference between the number 3 and David Cameron?

One's a prime number, the other's a prime minister.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What's your least favorite race?

I personally can't stand 5K's

What can 5 men do that 5 women can't do?

Pee in a cup.